Questionable Fundamentalism

I hear all your thoughts. Occasionally I come across one that makes me realize that you are all doing a little too much thinking and not enough praying. Here’s a post from a Babtist / Fundamentalist who is on a very slippery slope to “enlightenment”:

“All my life I have never been able to accept evolution as possible. Science is squarely against it, as is the Bible.”

Good start. Of course science is squarely against evolution! Look, I created the Universe, I then created the Earth and then I created all of you lot, including the scientists (I was feeling creative at the time, sorry). I created scientists, so of course scientists have to agree that evolution is just the fantastical invention of man – follow?

“However during the last few years I have not been too sure about the age of the universe. I have done much study in this area from sources like the Institute for Creation Research, Answers in Genesis, Kent Hovind Ministries, and Reasons to Believe.”

OH YE of little faith!! Of course you are going to start having doubts if you read that kind of heretical filth claiming to be “science”! There’s only one Book that tells you all you need to know about the age of My Creation and how I did it, and it ain’t that kind of blasphemous claptrap!

But, you go on to make even more sense than you have done so far:

“I will not go into all the details here but what has been revealed to me is that it is impossible for Scripture and science to directly contradict each other.”

Exactly! Oh, sorry, I’m interrupting your splendid line of thought…

“If science absolutely proves that the age of the universe is 14.5 billion years old, and Scripture says that it is only about 10,000 years old—tops; then one or the other is wrong. We know that provable science cannot be wrong (it may be incomplete), and we know that Scripture cannot be wrong. Therefore what is wrong is the interpretation of one or the other (or both).”

You see, the problem is that you are misinterpreting the misinterpretations…you even shed some light on this yourself:

“The age of the universe is unquestionably just what it looks like, 14.5 billion years old. (This does not necessarily mean that evolution took place). Therefore it must be the way that Scripture is translated or interpreted that is incorrect. The six days of creation must be long ages of time.”

You poor, misguided soul. Listen to me – I created the everything – top to bottom – in six days and that’s that. The whole 14.5 billion years old thing is just the evil work of some oddball scientists who are trying to look clever to you by observing “facts” and then making up “theories” that support those “facts” and then look for “facts” that can test those “theories” – just look at evolution as an example of the kind of circular rubbish these so called “scientists” come up with (I really shouldn’t have experimented with those types…scientists are nothing but troublemakers). And you conclude:

“Perhaps I will go into more detail on this in a separate chapter later, but it would just confuse the issue if I went into much more detail here.”

No, please don’t go into more detail – you’ve enlightened us all quite enough with your penetrating and illuminating insights.

Look, you’ve proven without question that evolution must be a load of fantasy gone wild, however, you are just creating doubts in your own mind about the age of My Mystery, and you know where Doubt will lead you, sheep.

Just take My advice – stop reading hard science, stop learning about things so you understand their reason and for My Sake’s stop thinking for yourself! Simply stick your head in the Proverbial sand (with the exception of My several One Book(s) of Truth – take your pick) – for this is the only real way to learn the Truth.

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