This soul has had a hard time of it, no doubt – but he’s still a believer. This is the letter he received from the LDS church (that’s my Mormon house) after making the decision to leave and join Episcopal Church (another of My inventions to keep you busy), informing him of the “serious eternal consequences” of his actions:
It’s a little harsh, but fair. Indeed, he would suffer “serious eternal consequences” if he’d turned into one of those spineless atheists, but the good news is that since he is still a believer in Me he’ll be just fine. Think of it as a change in brand preference – it’s still a cola soda, but he’s having Pepsi now instead of Jolt Decaf. I serve it all.