Must the US president believe in Me?

The impertinence of the unbelievers is getting rather irritating these days. If they don’t watch out I’m going to have to do some serious smiting (I’ll start with the goldfish first). The latest tripe to come from the BBC (Blasted Blasphemic Crowd) to test my Goodness dares ask: Must the US president believe in God?

I can answer that: If there is candidate that doesn’t believe in me, they won’t get in. Simple as that. How do I know? Well, apart the fact that I know everything that has, is and will be, there is also this Gallup poll that tells the story in very clear terms. 1006 of my subjects in the greatest nation on God’s green earth were asked:

Between now and the 2008 political conventions, there will be discussion about the qualifications of presidential candidates — their education, age, religion, race, and so on. If your party nominated a generally well-qualified person for president who happened to be …, would you vote for that person?

 

Yes, would
vote for

No, would not
vote for

 

%

%

Catholic

95

4

Black

94

5

Jewish

92

7

A woman

88

11

Hispanic

87

12

Mormon

72

24

Married for the third time

67

30

72 years of age

57

42

A homosexual

55

43

An atheist

45

53

So there you have it – my chosen people have spoken. Now, stop fiddling around and get on and do some praying.

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